So much has happened in such a short space of time.
I feel broken but also liberated at the same time, it is such an unusual feeling and state of mind that I cannot really describe it to anyone unless you have been in this space yourself.
I went along to court and filed my divorce papers.
I think it was one of the saddest days of my life thus far.
Strange how your life can literally change upside down within a short space of time.
One thing I can say is that I am one strong lady.
This year has been absolute hell for me.
Betrayal from friends who I once loved as sisters, I said good bye to a friendship I didn’t want to end, I was blown away by the news of an unknown child, 2 affairs in less than 10 months.
Sometimes I just want to crawl up in a ball and sob my heart out.
I want to cry for the hurt my soul has had to endure and is still healing from.
The life I had wanted so badly over 10 years ago….never thinking that it would end like this.
I am proud of the woman I have become, I fought hard to get where I am today, I have finally learnt that I need to put myself first.
The road ahead is still going to have lots of twists and turns but in a year’s time, I know that I will be able to look back and smile, and be grateful for all that I went through because I will be in a much happier and more stable place.
At the moment I am just taking it day by day, sometimes hour by hour.
I constantly fight the loneliness and despair.
Sometimes when I cry myself to sleep, I just wish I had someone lying with me, holding me while I weep.
I cannot wait to have someone I desire and love in my life again, but this time, I swear to have my eyes completely open so that I see the person in totality.
I need them to see me and to accept me as I am.
Never again will I be the mental and emotional punching bag.
