So the day has finally arrived.
Today my husband will be reunited with his 29yr old daughter that he hasn't seen since she was a new born.
He is filled with anxiety and excitement.
For me, it's about a million emotions all at once.
I really am trying to be a positive, supportive wife and friend but I am struggling.
I don't know if it is okay for me to feel so betrayed but I do.
If I think about it, it sounds stupid to feel this way but I cannot help the little voices in my head.
His daughter was born 19 years before we married.
But I still feel betrayed.
I wonder if I will ever be able to get over these negative feelings.
At the moment I feel resentful for her coming into our lives - yes, it is very selfish for me to feel this way I know. Sadly I am my worst critic so hold back on those burning crucifixes okay?
I know that if I was in her shoes I wouldn't care about meeting my step-mother.....I would only want to meet and celebrate with my biological father.
I however expect more loyalty from my husband and life partner.
Why can he not see how I am dying inside as I am cast away into the corner.
He will be celebrating with his daughter, her whole family and friends for the next 4 days and I am left at home alone.
Does he not realise how rejected I feel?
I can understand him wanting alone time with his daughter - in fact I would recommend it.
But why couldn't I be included in the festivities where everyone else will be together?
I am married to him and have been for 10 years now, surely I deserve to be recognised as a package deal with him?
This is what I accepted when I married him - he was a package deal with his son (my step son).
So as he leaves our home, I kiss him goodbye with a smile on my face and tell him everything is going to be okay. He is nervous.
I am dying inside.
I say a prayer and ask for calm.
*sigh*
*deep breath*
*fight back the tears*
